But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
