You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
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Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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