So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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