im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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