you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
