So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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