like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
