You smell like stripper and shame
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
