I am in a vortex of obligation.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Boobs speak an international language.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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