Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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