Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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