if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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