I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
