ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
