is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
