cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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