The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
