I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
