I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
