Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
