dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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