The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
