it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
