There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
