Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
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Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.