I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.