Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.

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(313): View more from Michigan

These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work

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(630): View more from Illinois

I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(617): View more from Massachusetts

i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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(914): View more from New York

tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.

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(310): View more from California

He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse

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(406): View more from Montana

Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.

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