Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
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So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
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No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels