Texts From Last Night

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  (231): View more from Michigan

  So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again

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  (231): So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again http://tfl.nu/75wq
  Replies (10) Good night (2730) Bad night (855)
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  (951): View more from California

  Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.

  (951): View more from California

  Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.

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  (951): Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night. (951): Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended. http://tfl.nu/dcrw
  Replies (24) Good night (1566) Bad night (2462)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Barsexuality is the new black.

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  (718): Barsexuality is the new black. http://tfl.nu/lc2j
  Replies (7) Good night (2622) Bad night (656)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  so when am I gonna get some from you?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  when you dick grows 3 inches

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  (202): so when am I gonna get some from you? (617): when you dick grows 3 inches http://tfl.nu/rd2p
  Replies (74) Good night (2073) Bad night (8954)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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  (517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0
  Replies (7) Good night (981) Bad night (2673)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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  (248): If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme. http://tfl.nu/8vj2
  Replies (12) Good night (7928) Bad night (1436)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.

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  (314): I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light. http://tfl.nu/psre
  Replies (19) Good night (3837) Bad night (996)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time

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  (781): In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time http://tfl.nu/v2fu
  Replies (8) Good night (2435) Bad night (917)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.

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  (815): walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill. http://tfl.nu/3jcw
  Replies (5) Good night (2426) Bad night (1086)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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  (704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7
  Replies (10) Good night (1603) Bad night (940)
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  (483): View more from

  Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?

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  (483): Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she? http://tfl.nu/qpva
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (1583)
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  (315): View more from New York

  drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.

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  (315): drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached. http://tfl.nu/t45s
  Replies (22) Good night (1281) Bad night (1158)
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  (530): View more from California

  Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.

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  (530): Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them. http://tfl.nu/oho5
  Replies (2) Good night (1020) Bad night (363)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.

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  (612): I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises. http://tfl.nu/ns4w
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (320)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.

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  (440): I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic. http://tfl.nu/5vs6
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (332)

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