please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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