How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
