my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
