Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
