Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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