D3 body, D1 cock
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
