would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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