omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize