Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
