Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
third nipple confirmed
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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