Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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