im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize