We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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