apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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