i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
