it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
