i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
