We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
