I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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