apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
