the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
