According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
