He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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