he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
