last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
