the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
