Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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