i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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