16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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