things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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