Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
