i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
