but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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